Stephanie had probably the most laziest Survivor strategy I've ever seen. Be the girl Russell wants to take to the end AKA copy Natalie White and Parvati Shallow. Okay this plan may of worked if the world had a chance to breathe the Russell free air for more then one season, but the stench of Russells career was still strong enough to remind most people that Russell is a piece of shit. So associating with him turned out to be game suicide for Steph.
Instead of making the obvious correct decision of distancing herself away from Russell, forming bonds, and awaiting cracks to form in the majority group, Steph took the complete opposite approach and shouted down anyone who understandably despised Russell being around for a third season and made it her duty to be top bitch in camp to the point her tribemates were practically running to write her name down.
Amber Brkich (Australia, All Stars)
As I stated in my Jenna Lewis piece, Jenna was one of two people who I could not understnad got on the Survivor All Star roster from any angle. Wanna know who was number 2?
As much as we love the Australian season cast, was Amber in anyone's top 5 during its airing? Hell, top 8? The most memorable thing about her was being the only person who seemed to like Jerri. And then she had the fortune of Elizabeth Hassleback being so successful and likable, she as too busy to go back for a second season so they had to resort to the backups. Thank God for being cute.
No matter how you spin it, Amber is only remembered for having a relationship with players who are more popular than her. In both seasons, she wasn't strategic, she wasn't liked, she wasn't hated, she had no memorable personality traits, she had no character arc of any kind. She was just Jerri's ally or Rob's girlfriend. Like a pet fish, Amber wasn't interesting but was there because it's better than being alone. What's there to like about that? Maybe if she could've given a well thought out, intelligent argument at her FTC that this was her plan all along, I could give her more credit, Instead, we saw her flop hard at even the easiest of questions
Alicia: Describe in one word how you played this game.
Amber: ....with luck.
Tom: Why should I vote for you and not Rob?
Amber: Um....I'm just gonna be....honest....
Amber: Um....I'm just gonna be....honest....
Tom: Well I appreciate that.
And her jury still hated Rob enough to give a good player the middle finger than an awful player a million dollars. Not that that's her fault or anything, but I can't giver her credit when all she did was be hot enough for Rob to wanna make out with her.
Matt Quinlan (One World)
A less annoying version of Shannon Elkins.
'The rooster' here falls in the category of the douche who just thinks way too highly of himself. Matt loved to sit in the jungle and talk to the camera about how he's just way ahead of everyone else in terms of mental intelligence and him and his team of muscles are the superior tribe. Fortunately for us, CBS made sure to give us all of his worst moments as a setup for his early demise when he was kicked off third and gave use one of the very, very few likable moments of this season.
Burton Roberts (Pearl Islands)
The first person in Survivor to be voted out of the game twice. First by being seen as a unlikable twat who loved to make fun of the much more likable Rupert. His fan club alliance didn't appreciate his behavior, So they gave him the boot early.
That could've been where it ended for Burton, but a surprise Outcast twist gave him another shot and the guy is a great ass kisser. He charmed the group into voting himself back in the game and allied himself with the guy more unlikable than him, Fairplay. None of this doesn't sound too bad until you bring in the fact that after Lillian discovered that Burton's lil speech about looking out for his fellow outcast til the end was a load of crap and she wisely took him out. Afterwards, Burton spent his postgame life shaming Lillian for having the audacity to go back on her word and not allowing him to betray her first. Prick.
Kat Edorssan (One World, Blood vs Water)
I mentioned earlier that One World had very few moments I particularly enjoyed. But there was one single highlight that I fondly remember and that was the Kat blindside.
Some people think Kat was quirky, cute, adorable, and fun. And I agree with that if you replace the words with annoying, obnoxious, stupid, and immature. Kat was on the younger side of the majority female alliance, not that you wouldn't be able to tell as she had the maturity of a 6 year old (farting on another person? Is this an episode of Family Guy?) When she wasn't blowing it for her team in challenges, she was running her mouth about how how annoying anyone not in her cool clique was cuz all of Kats social skills were acquired in high school.
Fitting end to her though. As a way to teach her a life lesson, her own alliance voted her out moments before she blabbed about how awesome it was to see the expressions of the losers and whining that people were criticizing her too much.
In Blood vs Water, we got an even more pathetic version of her when she attempted to puppy-dog eye her way back into the game by guilting her boyfriend to give up his spot for her. Luckily, Hayden saved us seeing more of her by saying no and she was forced to duel and lose.
Shirin Oskooi (Worlds Apart, Second Chance)
Shirin is the only person I know who has such an awful personality, she managed to fall from a good position to a horrible one....twice.
In her first season, her non-filtered mouth rubbed all but one of her white-collared allies Max and the two spent hours upon hours giggling away about hot awesome and strategic they were being when literally 3 feet away, the whole group is talking about getting rid of them. And while I certainly don't agree with the way Will treated her, I can certainly see why some would say she loves using the victim card. Whenever it came down to her incident between her and Will (which only got started cuz she personally insulted him), she milked the moment by dramatically overstating things several times. Specifically her reasoning for denying him a love letter, her jury speech, and at the reunion.
She got a second chance the next season and got to show the world she learned fuck-all and got herself screwed up again. Her new bff this time was 'Christ-what's-she-pissed-at-me-now-shit-she's-changing-her-mind-again' Abi. Instead of walking away from the shit talk Peih-Gee was starting about Abi, she just added fuel to the fire to the point of hurting Abi's feelings. Despite getting enough people to pity her into giving her another shot, Shirin blew her second chance badly. Probably the worst.
Krista Klumpp (Redemption Island)
Girls a bitch. Plain and simple. She was invisible 85% of her time on the show and the remaining 15% was just her being as unlikable as she could.
