Russell Hantz (Samoa, Heroes vs Villains, Redemption Island)

Here's the little hobbit.

Russell is a person you either really like or really dislike. If you're the delusional type of person who thinks Russell 'is the true winner' or have a 'bitter jury' concept then chances are we all know what camp you fall into.

Let me make it clear: I don't think Russell is a bad Survivor player. On the contrary, he's pretty good. But that's it. He's good. Not great, not amazing, not 'the Babe Ruth or Michael Jordan of Survivor.' A solid 7 out of 10 player. Maybe 8.5 on a good day. But nowhere near the caliber Russell and his followers believe.

And right there is the main issue with Russell. Russell wants credit for anything and everything he can get his tiny, gremlin hands on. There isn't anything wrong with taking pride in your accomplishments, but Russell's self-entitlement was so terrible and douchey, he couldn't keep it hidden from 2 juries. And that's the main reason why he lost and will never be a great player.

Russell's self-entitlement is so awful he even pats himself on the back for things he either a) didn't do on his own or b) aren't even that impressive. So you lied about being in a hurricane? Big deal. Frat boys do shit like that all the time to get laid at bars. You want all the glory for booting Marissa? Well shit man, call up Ghandia, Tijuana, and LaGrossa and let them know how amazing they are cause they pretty much threw a name out that their teams ate up with their seasons first boots too.

Shit, even finding an idol without clues isn't that impressive. You found it under a bridge and in a giant, fucking hole in a tree in the middle of your campsite. Anyone with the time on their hands that you had can do that. And now that people realize it can be done, Survivors are doing it left and right. Some in actual, real hiding places.

What makes Russell even worse is it's that asshole behavior that got us started with all the awful 'veterans vs noobs' trudge that Survivor is just now finding its way out of. Think about it, Russell doesn't act like a douche on Samoa, he doesn't get called back for HvV cause it's 'good TV' and doesn't gloat about beating Boston Rob at the reunion which doesn't prompt Rob to challenge him and 'kick his ass' out on the island and give the producers that shitty idea. Hope you remembered to give Russell a big thank you on his answering machine Rob.

And can we take a moment to just talk about how delusional this guy is? How can a guy be 0 and 2 and still boast that he's better than a player who's 2 and 2? How can you talk about having so much love and respect for the game and then say you only lost because it's broken? How can you lose season after season after season and still say you're game is perfect without learning a damned thing? I just....I can't...I don't understand how anyone can be this mental...


NaOnka Mixon (Nicaragua)

If I believed that NaOnka gave a shit about Survivor, I would probably think she just copied Jenna Morasca's strategy of ostracizing people she didn't care for and then multiplying her disdain for them 500 times too far. I'm not sure if anyone really has a memory of NaOnka that doesn't involve her being a complete bitch. Whenever she felt like she was being disrespected or didn't like a particular person, NaOnka sure made sure her opinion was heard loud and unclear. Oh yeah, and fuck whoever didn't like her attitude cause that's just the way she is. Translation: I can be as loud and obnoxious as I want cause it's your problem, not mine.

And that pretty much sums up everything NaOnka brought to the show, just a nasty attitude and a quit. She didn't like the people, she didn't appreciate the experience, and as I said, she didn't even care about Survivor in the first place. That might not of been so bad if it didn't take up 3/4ths of the season, but at least she was decent enough to quit on her own accord and spare us from even more of her garbage.