Colton Cumbie (One World, Blood vs Water)

The only thing that's worse than using racism as an excuse to justify your behavior is actually being a racist.

Okay, that's a little unfair, I don't actually believe Colton is a racist. I just think he's a really dumb kid who doesn't fully understand how to keep his mouth in check. Colton is a kid who spent the majority of his season whining. And I don't mean just the typical 'it rained so much and I'm coooooold' stuff we've grown accustomed to hearing at least once a season. I'm talking grade-A, top shelf, bring-out-the-good-cheese-and-pour-me-a-glass-of-that-high-quality whine. When he was on the mens tribe, he whined that he had nothing in common with any of them despite doing dick-all to try and fit in with them. When he hung out with the women's team, he eventually grated on their nerves so badly they had to send him away which led to another confessional of Colton whining that nobody liked him and he had no where to go. Finally, the tribes were reshuffled and Colton was put on a tribe with one of the person he got along best with: Alicia. So that should be enough to lighten his spirits right? Nope. After a brief whine that the other tribe has all the muscle and losing a challenge, Colton lets the power run to his head as he and Alicia bully the living shit out of Christina. I don't know what she did to deserve such hatred from the duo (as well as a few other castaways who had some awful comments about her), but when Colton gleefully told Christina to go lie down in the fire and cackled at his own hilarious joke, a ruptured appendix was just what I was hoping for (while he was on fire, but I'll take what I can get).

It isn't like he learned a lot when he returned for BvW either. After a couple interviews where he talks about how he hoped he could redeem his image, he spent the first interview crying about being away from Caleb for a whole 2 days and then crying about feeling like an outsider his whole life to crying that nobody wanted to strategize at camp to eventually crying himself out of the game entirely. Ugh....

Colton is the kind of person Joffery from Game of Thrones would be if you stripped away all his power and authority. He sucks. He sucks badly.



Brandon Hantz (South Pacific, Caramoan)

It's ironic isn't it? You come on Survivor to save the family name and yet you come out looking worse than the guy who fucked it up for you in the first place.

Brandon's....most memorable moment aside, he was awful. First off, I didn't have a care in the world about him being a Hantz. All families have that one member they wish to sweep under the rug before their boy/girlfriend gets to them. But Brandon wanted to be damned sure everyone got the memo that he was a totally different person. 'Hello America, yeah I'm a Hantz, but cross my heart I'm trying to be different.' 'As Russell's nephew, I feel a large amount of pressure to being on Survivor. I'm trying to play a completely different game then him.' 'I cut my hands at the challenge. Hey, speaking of Hantz, did I mention I am one. I got it tattooed on my back for Christ sake.' It just got stupid. And it's not even that interesting a character arc. 'Oh hey, that kid is totally different from another member of his family. That's only the plot point of every mediocre sitcom ever.'

Which made me really doubt all the religious talk was even real. It just seemed like he read a book written by a Twilight fanfiction writer on how to change your image to the world and it said 'oh yeah, be sure to mention how fond you are of the Christianity religion' so he made time for it in between his family tree chat. But it was worse then that. It turned out Brandon was totally sincere about the stuff he was saying. And hey, that's fine. However you wanna live and all that. But Brandon took the entire Catholic mindset and used it as his guiding thinking light. 'Mikayla is trying to seduce me with her hot body. As a Christian, I should vote her out so I don't stray.' C'mon Brandon. Don't use religion as a shield for your rape urges.

Brandon was also so weird with his thinking process too. I mean, did he ever once follow through with something he said he'd do? First he was never going to tell anyone he was a Hantz, then the guilt ate him up so he told them. In Caramoan, he walked around talking about how he wanted to quit the game and then a few edits later and he's talking about how he changed his mind again. And I'm sorry, but I've seen the episode 3 times and I'm still not entirely sure I know what would cause Brandon to think giving up immunity was a good  idea...at top 5

So yeah, all this combined with the ugliest moment in the history of the show earns Brandon a spot in the top 3 most disliked Survivors.


Corinne Kaplan (Gabon, Caramoan)

Corinne isn't a person who had a chance in hell of getting very high. She was nasty, rude, and unnecessarily pissy towards people who would nonchalantly say 'well I didn't really know who to vote for so I was gonna vote you just cause. (shrug).'

But no, Corinne gets this low for the exact reason you expect: her nasty comments aimed at Sugar. Allow me to refresh your memory:

'Sugar, you're an unemployed, uneducated leech on society and the only thing I would vote to give you is a handful of antidepressants so that no one else has to be subjected to your constant crying anymore and maybe if you got some then it would seem a little bit more sincere when you are crying about your dead father.'

That's bad enough on its own, but what I found even more infuriating was her pathetic excuse for it at the reunion show. Corinne explained that the reason she makes the comments we saw was because she's just one of those special gems that speaks her mind without using a filter like most people do. Whatever she thinks, it's what she says.

Um...first of all, no. That's the kind of bullshit people pull out of their ass when the cops ask them why they have pot in their glove compartment. People don't go throughout their day-to-day lives thinking 'okay brain, remember. Don't take the thing the person is most sensitive about and throw it into their face.' People Decent human beings just know not do that cause it's awful behavior. Second, what is the difference in filtering what you say to avoid certain topics and filtering what you say to make what you say hurt as much as possible. Just listen to what Corinne said. She obviously put some time into thinking about what she was gonna say and she obviously phrased it in a way to hurt as much as possible. You know, like she filtered it. Just another flawed argument from a flawed person.


Shamar Thomas (Caramoan)

Well so far, we're 5 entries in and 4 of them have been involved in the Caramoan season. That's not a coincidence CBS. Your casting sucked that season!

Does it really need to be said about Shamar? The guy maybe had 2 moments on camera where he wasn't a complete douche. Shamar was lazy, opinionated, loud, arrogant, rude, stupid, stubborn, immature, childish, worthless, and was only along for the ride as a tool. . Glad I got this guy fighting for my team -_-

Which I thinks says a lot about Shamar. I realize I'm only speculating and this is only going off an edit, but Shamar seems like one of those people who served time in the military and now feels entitled to everything life has to offer him. Not generalizing all war veterans, but we all know the type of person I'm talking about. Somebody did a few years living the hard life as a soldier, and then get back home to treat the world like their personal door mat and demand the respect from everyone they come in contact with. Shamar's attitude was awful and may he never return for a second season.