Vince Sly (Worlds Apart)

Ahahahahaha!!!

Okay, okay. Now I know this blog usually ranks people who I believe are low in character and Vince is among those people, don't get me wrong. But I'll be damned if I didn't have fun at his expense and it was one of my favorite moments in the season.

Before becoming similar to characters in Silence in the Lambs, Vince was a pretty douch-y hippy. He loved talking about what an amazing person he was and he had such a great spirit and great mind and he super really connected with his tribemate, Jenn, who just so happened to be the young, attractive, free-loving hippy. And then Jenn became much more enthralled with the much nicer, cooler alpha male Joe and poor Vince just couldn't have that.

And then....ugh...the scene he's in when he confronts Jenn made me legit scared for her to be camping with this loon. First he interrogates her on whether the girl is ATTRACTED to Joe cuz there's nothing wrong with bringing something like that up out of the blue. And then his face! When she makes him feel secure again, he wraps her in a hug and makes a face that would cause a girl to instinctively wrap their fingers around the pepper spray ASAP. It would've made for a really uncomfortable scenario if Jenn didn't totally have such a 'ugh, I deal with weirdos like this on a daily basis it's whatever' attitude about it and vote his ass far away from her as possible the first chance she got. It made a great moment in the season, so Vince gets a little higher on the shit pile of the awful people this season. But still in the shit pile nonetheless.




Whitney Duncan (South Pacific)

While she wasn't the most hated person on the season Whitney was one of the biggest disappointments I've ever had in a Survivor cast.

No one even pretended to be surprised when a member of Russell Hantz's family turned out to be just as unstable as he was, but Whitney was someone I was instantly drawn too. She was from Nashville, Tennessee (one of my favorite places) and a country singer, which I thought was very cool. At a time right after Redemption Island vomited onto our screen and the season was following it's awful 'veteran within a season of noobies' trend, she seemed to be a bright spot in the cast reveal.

Ironically, Whitney turned out to be one of the few South Pacific cast members I can't stand. She ended up being a lapdog for the douche alpha male and barely had any personality beyond that. And no, you can't even give her the 'she was using Keith for her own personal gain' card, unless that 'personal gain' is giving him access to her crotch area. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Whitney fucked (or at least had a relationship with) some tool on TV. Which wouldn't be so bad if she wasn't already married before she left to the island. Oh, and knowing full well that she's doing this, she has the BIGGEST cajones to berate Cochran for BETRAYAL of all things. What a horrid piece of awful.

And no, I don't include her loose marriage promises involved with my low ranking of her. Even without that knowledge, she still comes off as a pathetic whiner at best and a sore loser at worst.



Christa Hastie (Pearl Islands)

Christa had the voice of someone who sounded as though they were trying to talk without breathing out their nose. It was extremely annoying.

No really, that's like almost the entire reason I dislike Christa so much. That's not to say she didn't have an unlikable personality on top of it, but her agonizing voice just made me grow so much more disdain for her. I know that statement may be controversial, but I don't know where this 'good girl cutie blond' version of her is coming from with her fans cuz she was awful. The best example being with Christa asking Lillian a jury question in a matter that made it clear she clearly disliked Lillian and was going to vote for her close friend Sandra which Lillian would've understood anyway. But no, Christa had to be a piece of crap about it and scoff at her answer in a condescending way, but we all know Lillian couldn't win for losing with this sour grape.



Lindsey Cascaddan (Worlds Apart)

What? We're already back in Worlds Apart?

You see that thing on Lindsey's face? That's an actual tattoo. I'm not kidding. This girl actually chose of her own free will to walk into a tattoo parlor and say out loud 'I want to get a permanent, colorful mark on my face.' I assume she paid for it with real money. And while physical appearance has little to nothing to do with being a likable Survivor cast member, her inner beauty also matched her outer beauty in demonstrating her awful decisions.

I don't get what it is with people who feel they have to needlessly bark loudly about their religious and political views. The moment I'm speaking about was Lindsey bickering with Mike after he questioned her on her work ethic and her argument against him consisted of 'you think this fire got here because YOUR God put it there?'

To be clear, I don't have an issue with Lindsey being an atheist. But I don't like it when Jehovah witnesses knock on my door and get mad at me when I don't know the answer to their Bible trivia and I don't like it when someone points out to someone who wasn't asking about it that 'you are incorrect and YOU believe in God and I don't!' It just rubbed me the wrong way.

But don't worry, Lindsey sucks for other reasons. Mainly her loose mouth which she used to ramble at her only TC (think someone saying "ONE OF US IN THIS GROUP WILL WIN THE MONEY PROBST. WHETHER I'M VOTED OUT OR HE'S VOTED OUT. I FEEL VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT THIS" only 50 words longer). She's also dumb enough to think there is purpose in arguing with Rodney who has the intelligence of a potato and the maturity of steroid using preschooler with low self-esteem so who the fuck cares what he thinks on anything?

JP Calderon (Cook Islands)

Hey ladies. Good news: lots of pics of this guy in his underwear. Bad news: he's gay...

It's hard to not think of any memory of JP where he isn't being anything other than a total douche. In fact, that's kind of everything there ever was to JP as a character. First, he was in complete agreement with Ozzy's bonehead plan to lose a challenge on purpose to get rid of Billy. When Billy catches onto the plan, he talks about it at his doom TC where as it turns out, having your team want to rid of you so badly they lose a challenge on purpose kind of makes you feel like crap. True to his douchebag nature, JP scoffs at Billy saying he's trying way too hard to make himself a victim knowing full well Billy was going home. Like, what? You can't let a losing player speak his final thoughts?

Next, in a true fashion of justice, JP fucks himself over with his douche behavior. Feeling comfortable he won't be going anytime soon cuz muscles, JP takes a load off his feet by sitting on his ass and sniping comments that got on a lot of peoples nerves. Deciding to make an example out of him, many of the ladies on his tribe got rid of him despite the muscles he was advertising and he left with a dropped jaw.



Roger Sexton (Amazon)

Next up is the highly unlikable Roger from Amazon. There is a small part of me that sort of sympathizes with Roger. I'm sure living with a group of men several decades younger then you who would rather talk with their penises then their brains isn't easy. Then I remembered Rodger from Australia, Jake from Thailand, and Butch in the same season and remember they did it just fine and he goes back on my shit list.

Roger was just a cranky old guy who had a specific way on doing practically everything. If you had a different way on doing it, he had no problem telling you it was wrong in a way that made you feel he thought you were a dumbass. When Roger wasn't barking orders, he was barking his political views on gay marriage and gender equality. That went about as well as you might expect for him. Regardless of which side of alliances you were rooting for, I think everyone got just a little bit of glee when Roger received a landslide of votes he didn't even know he'd be getting.


Stacey Stillman (Borneo)

There really wasn't too much to Stacey other than she didn't like working a lot and that meant she didn't like bossy Rudy a lot which means she didn't really have a lot of moments that wasn't her snotting off about how disrespected she felt from mean, ol Rudy. It just made her come off as a lazy bitch. It didn't help her case that Sue chose not to go with the girl power strategy due to her lazy attitude as well. The only thing that separated her from Australian Jerri was Stacey's attitude was so bad they couldn't stomach keeping her over the million year old man for more than 9 days, thus she never got the negative popularity Jerri received.

....what's that? Her court case? Well, by my rule I don't factor it into her ranking, but honestly I think Stacey is just being a sore loser. I'm not sure how anyone can say they are so certain everyone had their minds made up until a producer somewhere interfered. But who knows? I could very well be wrong. Whatever the case, I don't find her to be a very likable person.



Val Collins (San Juan del Sur)

I'm sure there are many people out there who will be surprised that my least favorite SJDS cast member isn't the infamous John Rocker (more on him later), but Val turned out to be a huge disappointment. I thought for certain a cop who's been married to a fireman would come into Survivor with a strong competitive spirit and be able to hold her own in challenges.

Not only did she fail to do well physically in challenges, but she failed to play a good mental game as well. For whatever reason, Val decided to burn a bridge for a potential ally by lying to him about having idols she didn't have. You'd think being a cop, Val knew the common sense of if you're gonna threaten someone with an empty gun, you run the risk of them calling your bluff. If being a poor competitor wasn't enough, Val decided to also show she could be a mean bully when she attempted to make Baylor look like a liar and a fake by spewing stories about things Baylor did and said. The problem was Val was so unnecessarily nasty about it, she just came off as a sore loser lunatic who only wanted to get one last jab into making a young girl feel bad.

Survivor Round Up


So if Blogger.com is to be believed, I started this Survivor rank a little over a year ago and so far we've got.....50 Survivors in the bank.

So progress isn't exactly going at Sonic the Hedgehog speed but I still plan on chipping away. And 50 seems like a solid number to do a brief wrap up of who my most disliked Survivors.

50) Natalie Bolton(Fans vs Favorites)

49) Shannon Elkins (Nicaragua)

48) Jamie Newton (Guatamala)

47) Alicia Calaway(Australia, All Stars)

46) Chet Welch (Fans vs Favorites)

45)Daniel Lue(Amazon)

44) Mookie Lee (Fiji)

43) Ozzy' Lusth (Cook Islands, Fans vs Favorites, South Pacific)

42) Sarah Jones (Marquesas)

41) Michelle Chase (Gabon)

40) Courtney Marit (Exile Island)

39) Coby Archa(Palau)

38) Danielle DiLorenzo (Exile Island, Heroes vs Villains)

37) Eliza Orlins (Vanuatu, Fans vs Favorites)

36) Kimmi Kappenberg (Australia)

35) Jason Siska (Fans vs Favorites)

34) Yasmin Giles (Samoa)

33) Ami Cusack (Vanuatu, Fans vs Favorites)

32) Dave Cruser(China)

31) Dan Foley (Worlds Apart)

30) Ben Browning(Samoa)

29) Lindsey Richter (Africa)

28) Heidi Strobel(Amazon)

27) Stephanie LaGrossa (Palau, Guatamala, Heroes vs Villains)

26) Mia Galeotalanza(Vanuatu)

25) Osten Taylor(Pearl Islands)

24) Terry Dietz(Exile Island)

23) Rodney Lavoie Jr. (Worlds Apart)

22) Jenna Morasca(Amazon, All Stars)

21).Parvati Shallow (Cook Islands, Fans vs Favorites, Heroes vs Villains)

20) James 'Rocky'Reid (Fiji

19) Lex van den Berghe (Africa, All Stars)

18) Candice Woodcock (Cook Islands, Heroes vs Villains, Blood vs Water

17) Katie Gallagher (Palau)

16) Ghandi Johnson(Thailand)

15) Jenna Lewis(Borneo, All Stars)

14) Robb Zbacnik(Thailand)

13) Alex Angarita (Fiji)

12) 'Johnny Fairplay' Dalton (Pearl Islands, Fans vs Favorites)

11). 'Lisi'Linares (Fiji)

10) Joel Anderson (Fans vs Favorites)

9) Alicia Rosa (One World)

8) Judd Sergeant (Guatamala)

7) NaAnko Mixon (Nicaragua)

6) Russell Hantz (Samoa, Heroes vs Villains, Redemption Island)

5) Shamar Thomas (Caramoan)

4) Corrinne Kaplan (Gabon, Caramoan)

3) Brandan Hantz (South Pacific, Caramoan)

2) Colton Cumbie (One World, Blood vs Water)

1) Phillip Sheppard (Redemption Island, Caramoan)

Alicia Calaway (Australia, All Stars)

Alas, another beloved player of mine who turned into an ugly bitter Betty on her 2nd play through.

How could you not love Alicia in Australia? Interestingly, she's one of the few women in Survivor history to be voted out for being a physically strong competitive threat to go along with her spunk and personality. She was a pretty solid player that was a nice addition to the amazing Australia cast. Unlike Jenna L, there was a lot of sense in asking Alicia back for another season.

Unfortunately, she was also a big addition to the biggest group of sore losers along with her leader Lex. Unlike Lex, who sounded as though he was trying to make an argument to a cause he believed in (stupid, petty, and wrong as it was), Alicia just came off as plain ol' pissy. And she turned into one more lady in my life to break my heart when the game show power of jury member fueled her flames as she aggressively berated Amber and Boston Rob in a rant that she must've practiced in a mirror at least a dozen times. Finally, she slammed the final nail in the 'suck' coffin when she cast her voted an spat a final, venomous 'fuck you' to Rob in a vote confession that sounded so rehearsed, it just threw her into a dimension of pathetic that she will never be able to recover from.

Jamie Newton (Guatemala)

The person who came closest to matching Judd's level of shit.

Jamie just wasn't a good person on the show. I first picked up on it when he voiced his dislike for Brianna by saying 'I like girls crazy and pretty. She's neither....' Huh. Sure your teammate on the outs of the group appreciated that one Jamie. Then there was the constant taunting like when he shrieked 'WHO'S SMILING NOW' to the losing team. So he's a pretty shit winner. More? Alright, what about the whining and bitching he did when the opposing team came over and nicely asked if they were interested in having a birthday party at their camp and relax for a day. Of course Jamie had to have a problem with this and whined about the enemy coming on their turf and it's stupid to go mingle with the enemy and typical douche-y shit. Is it any wonder Bobby Jon got all crazy-eyed at this turd? 

He also had a pretty weird idea of competing. Twice in the season, his team lost the match by a lot. Like it would take everyone a good couple of minutes to watch them get to the end. But Jamie, with some sort of competitive pride on the line, said 'no we're gonna finish! We're gonna finish' which caused his teammates to roll their eyes and mention the pointless-ness expending valuable energy to a challenge that was already over.

Shannon Elkins (Nicaragua)

What's up man-named-Shannon?

I'm sure going to the gym 6 hours a day and having a mother telling him how special he was made Shannon truly believe he was some sort of alpha male on his team cause he sure as hell did everything he could to show it off. But the only thing he had to show for it was a mouth that ran way too much. At first, there wasn't anything worth remembering him for. Typical 'Chase is watching her feelings cause she's a woman' crap.

Then the TC we know him for. Probst asks the usual 'hows it going so far Shannon' and Shannon just let loose. First he attempts to de-masculate Chase by calling Brenda his girlfriend, said he doesn't get any loyalty from 'home boy', and going the 15 year old route of calling Sash gay and the girls he's hooked up with are so much hotter then his. Alpha male bro...



Natalie Bolton (Fans vs Favorites)

A quick hypothetical: what if a group of men formed an alliance and began picking a group of ladies off one by one? In the process of doing so, the man alliance met up after every TC and laughed about how awesome they were because of how much more physically and mentally stronger they were then women. Saying 'if you can't beat them with these (points at bicep) then you can always beat them with these (points at head)." Seems kind of douche-y right? Now if you reverse the gender, you'd have the Black Widow alliance of Parvati, Cirie, Amanda, and Natalie. And everyone thought it was just sooooooooo awesome. -_-

I have no problem with women dominating in Survivor. Hell, I think overall they play the better game strategically and socially. However, I do have a problem with boasting about how incredibly smart and superior you are because you're gender is better then the other whether you be male or female.

So what does this have to do with Natalie? Well up until her alliance formed with Parvati, Amanda, and Cirie, Natalie had been pretty much invisible. Then she had a weird confessional out of the blue about how she's able to be more of herself because she's able to....backstab more.

Okay, so shes happy that she's more involved in the game. That's fine. But then she had all these odd sayings like how 'even though women are evil and manipulative, they totally are good people because we want people to have a good birthday which is why we're voting out James over Erik.' Um....what? You expect me to believe you're not voting for someone else because you're a considerate person in a vote where you have absolutely no stakes on the line? And you bring up the fact that it's a woman thing because...?

And now that she was getting more airtime, we were able to get a bigger grasp on her personality. And while I'm sure it was endearing for some, it came across as snobby and very unlikable for me. The best example I can think of is the chocolate cake item she got to share at an auction in which she turned around and barked 'okay Alexis, Cirie, do NOT hog the cake cuz I'm in a mood!' Ugh....

Lastly, there's the jury question: 'Hey Parvati. Lookin hot as hell today. So my question is how do you interpret how you play the game into the bedroom. Lolz.' Really Natalie? Why does being a jury member turn you into a frat guy trying to get laid? Weren't you on a team called 'fans'? Get her number after the show and quit being a pathetic star-struck mess and try being a fuckin Survivor player.

Mookie Lee (Fiji)

And the Fiji cast takes another hit.

The nicest thing I can say about Mookie is that he's a less douche-y version of Rocky. Rocky was 'super roid rage angry lunatic' douche while Mookie was more of your typical frat guy douche. But that didn't make him any less shitty.

And....that really sums up 85% of everything there was to Mookie. From mocking old man Yauman at the challenge to showboating his win against a struggling opponent in a gross food eating challenge to allying himself with people that are slightly less scummy then he was, there was nothing to root for in Mookie.


Daniel Lue (Amazon)

Huh. Hadn't realized up until now that I had two douche-y Asians in a row. That's kinda awkward.

Daniel is disliked for being a slighty less intense version of Mookie. But he was still a massive tool. His entire team pretty much summed him up as worthless in camp which made him a target early. And...ugh...look I can't say the Amazon season men made me proud of my gender but Daniel still managed to make himself stand out by acting incredibly embarrassing. Shaking the hands of all the hotties and awkwardly introducing yourself aside, he came off as pretty shitty when boasted about how full him and his team were from all the fish they were eating (I think he felt full from the bullshit personally) because he thought he was being 'hilarious' (cuz chicks love a guy who will kick them while they're down cuz it's funny)..

He was the 3rd one voted out for a reason.


Chet Welch (Fans vs Favorites)

Let me tell you all about the legacy of Survivor Chet Welch:

Huge, long time fan of the show Chet Welch  finally made his dream come true. He was on his favorite show ever, Survivor. But his luck in the game was a Survivor fan nightmare. He was in a 7-3 minority group at the start and his team wasn't doing very well against the skilled veterans in challenges. And it was even worse for Chet since he had the challenge performer of a blind amputee in a wheelchair with down syndrome. But Chet was blessed with the lucky breaks of all lucky breaks: he was put on a tribe with a crazy man called Joel. Despite the horrible disadvantage it put Joel in, Chet was able to survive two Tribal Councils even though he was put on the chopping block for sucking in the challenges (under the weak answer 'no, I think I did okay even though I clearly didn't.')

But a tribe switch left him with only one ally: Tracy and he was once again put in harms way. But luck struck Chet yet again when a blindside began taking place that would ally veterans with noobs, take out a key power player, and give Chet a whole new breath of fresh life in the game long term. So how did this fan react? How did he take this second miracle that would help him in the game and also make this season a million times better?

He quit.

Yup. Turns out sucking in the game of Survivor really was hard on Chet. He was hungry, tired, miserable, and wanted to go home. This so called huge fan gave up when a huge opportunity fell in his lap and he did nothing but be a huge waste of space in the tribe (and he can't even admit that). And what really pisses me off? He couldn't even do it for his ally Tracy who stuck by him despite it being a terrible move for her and never swaying. I will always dislike Chet for that.

Coby Archa (Palau)

Here's a fun drinking game that will guarantee you''ll die from alcohol poisoning: pop in the Survivor Palau DVD and take a shot every time Coby bitches about something. You'll be blitzed by episode 4.

So you're on Survivor. You're hungry, you're cold, you've been going on 3 hours of sleep for the past several days, and you're just plain miserable. Unfortunately for Koror, they had the added wrinkle of having Coby on their team who made it his personal goal to bitch about how sucky everyone was around him. His bitter mood began to leak through and as Ian confessioned 'Everyone [was] getting pretty tired of it.' As were the rest of us viewers which is why Coby only lived through a single Tribal Council.

It's interesting to see how hard Coby fucks up in his boot episode as well. For whatever reason, Coby decided to spread a whole bunch of gossip to Steph about how jealous all the ladies were of her. This went over for him about as well as you'd expect since Steph spilled the news to everyone else and killed any hope he may of had for allies. His mistakes didn't end there. When he jumped into the water for a doughnut at an immunity challenge Gregg joked at him to 'save him a bite' to which Coby condescendingly laughed and proceeded to make a big show out of his snack by doing everything but crowing 'awww you guys don't even know what you're missing' in between licking his fingers. Don't take your vote out as a compliment Coby. It sure as hell wasn't one....


Courtney Marit (Exile Island)

Poor Courtney. She was the first to get the butt of all the 'least liked person' votes in the 'splinter alliances' challenge You could almost feel bad for her but we were all forced to watch her soooooooo.....yeaaaahhhhh.

There's really not too much more to Courtney other than when she didn't seem batshit nuts with her 'free love and peace broooo' attitude she wasn't very likable. It'd probably help her if she wasn't doing yoga in other peoples rock garden. When your closest ally is Insane Shane, and most people still vote on you being the biggest poser and most annoying person, you got some bad character flaws.


Michelle Chase (Gabon)

There's a solid reason Michelle got the first boot in her season. Turns out the last thing hungry, tired uncomfortable human beings want to deal with is a person who bitches, moans, whines and complains about the world (in a past world, her and Coby ended up on a team together and the entire tribes eardrums exploded). Oh yeah, if you want to add fuel to the fire, also talk about how stupid and horrible they are at life. I think if GC had said he sucked at the first challenge on purpose in order to get her annoying attitude out of the jungle, he may have been able to sell it.

Michelle certainly lacked the mental and social skills needed by like a whole lot. Enough to be a physical power and STILL have her team dislike her enough to get rid of her instead of the weaker and slightly-less-annoying-but-still pretty-annoying Gillian. Also, if you're gonna complain about how much your teammates suck at life, maybe you shouldn't let your final moment on the reunion show be you nervously ranting on live TV like a person who sucks at life? Just saying....

Sarah Jones (Marquesas)

So do you think Sarah goes through life thinking that she was very close to being the Mrs. Boston Rob and having the 15 minutes of fame that Amber once had? If only she could've made it past premerge, who knows what she and Rob could've had.

Unfortunately, Sarah was booted early for...sucking. It seemed liked everyone on her Maaramu team had the same point of view that Sarah was a pretty useless, lazy team member who's most useful feature was being used as a flotation device (for two big, perky reasons). Well everyone except BRob, who even stated in an interview that she was more a useful ally then someone he genuinely liked being around (how does he keep getting women to agree that making out is better when you're breath reeks so bad it feels like a physical kick in the face?).

Point blank, Sarah didn't really have a lot of positive features to really make her likable, even with the fair editing in the early Survivor years.



Ozzy Lusth (Cook Islands, Fans vs Favorites, South Pacific)

Nope. Not an Ozzy man. Loved him at Cook Islands, annoyed as shit at him in South Pacific.

How in the world could you not root for Ozzy by the end of Cook Islands. The kid seemed to be genetically designed for Survivor with his monkey climbing skills, dolphin swimming abilities, and gazelle running speed. He is still regarded as one of the best challenge performers in the shows history. He had the underdog label as a member of the Aitu 4 who made one of the biggest comebacks ever and he came in second place when lost by a single vote. Even though he had some poor moments at times (purposefully losing to vote out Billy), bringing him back as a favorite was an easy call.

Unfortunately, now that Ozzy knows the world thinks he's awesome, he has no problem acting out the 'man,-I'm-sooooo-awesome' role. Ozzy made the poor strategic choice of telling everyone at his camp the right way to do things which pissed off anyone not willing to suck his dick (I'm looking at you Erik). Since it landed him in the leadership role that never does well, Ozzy had to backtrack under the 'no, I'm not the leader guys really' tactic. Didn't work.

As a mental, strategic player, Ozzy was a mess. In South Pacific, he used the Redemption Island twist to try and trick the opposing tribe, Upolu, into thinking he hated his former team and would pretend to vote with them. This was a decent plan that could've been pulled off if Ozzy didn't give one of the worst acting performances in front of the entire cast that made Tara Reid look like Jack Nicholson. The plan didn't even come close to working out. Hell, even his fake HII plan in Micronesia was stolen from another, better player from another season.

And while we're on that, Ozzy's behavior toward Eliza was just douch-y. There's no other way to describe it. I mean, I feel how frustrating it might of been to live with something who looked and sounded like Eliza, but when the girl is on the outs and getting her voted out is just a matter of time, what's the point of mocking and laughing at her misfortune? 'C'mon Jeff. That took hours to make.' Ugh....fuck him so hard for doing that because it put me in the weird position of trying to pick a side between this prick and Eliza and Jason.....

And has anyone ever noticed that every time Ozzy doesn't get his way he becomes this big, whiny, pouty, hurt attitude? I swear, it's like clockwork. When Flicka was voted out in Cook Islands, when Elyse was voted out in South Pacific, and when Cochran flipped on him, his attitude is always the same whiny, emo 'wow, you guys turned on me. I thought we were all a team, but I guess we're not. I'm gonna go mope in a coconut tree...'

All this and I haven't even covered his big moment: the Micronesia jury speech. So staying true to his 'I'm-so-awesome-but-am-also-a--douche-who-likes-to-whine-when-he-doesn't-get-his-way' attitude, Ozzy yelled, insulted and sore-losered the hell outta Parvati and then turn the whole thing around with 'Amanda, I think I was falling in love with you' (which I think he was confused with 'love for camera time') before dramatically smacking himself in the face like a wack job.

Whew, lot to cover with that guy. He had a lot of poor moments and I hope he'll never be asked back. Maybe Comedy Bang! Bang! will work out better for him.

So Worlds Apart is over and we had a lot of awful people. So awful in fact, I had to do some adjusting to the bottom of the pile. Here are two of the 18 castaways of Worlds Apart who were so terrible, they couldn't manage to be a likable enough person to stay out of the bottom 40. I don't think anyones mind is gonna get blown at this selection.


Rocky Reid
Parvati Shallow
Jenna Morasca

Rodney Lavoie Jr. (Worlds Apart)

Douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche, douche,

You see that? 4 lines explaining why I dislike Rodney and I don't think anyone is confused as to why. But just in case, here you go: the first red flag was when Rodney gave a horrible argument that women need to hold themselves to a higher standard for no other reason then because they don't have a weiner. Controversial stance, but he managed to walk out okay seeing as the argument was against someone who thought getting a tattoo on her face was a good idea. When given a hard time on his work ethic, Rodney took the oh-so-mature road by making a big show-y hissy fit, slamming firewood on a pile as hard as he could cuz if it works for 5 year olds, why not do it too,,,,

After that, it was a string of 'listen brah! Yo brah! Love ya brah! You need to RELAX brah! That's how we do it in Jersey brah!' If 'how we do it in Jersey' means 'sound as much like a tool as you seem' then sure. And God help you if you deprive him free shit on his birthday cuz you'll be in for a whine-y, immature earful. Don't ever come back brah.






Heidi Strobel
Lindsey Richeter
Ben Browning

Dan Foley (Worlds Apart)

It's really fascinating to me just how hard Dan sucked and how blissfully unaware he is of it. Like, wow....

So I never really disliked Dan that much, even with all the insults to Rodney's mom and awful apologies (under his own disillusion that he's some sort of expert female interpreter). He had a superfan glee about being there and playing the game that I enjoyed watching. You could see it in how hard he played in challenges and rooted for his team members.

And then...

After some nasty awful comments said to Shirin, Dan took the delicate situation and gave his two cents: all the tears and upset emotions Shirin had were all a big, giant ploy because Shirin loooooooooves to play the victim and she was milking the experience of feeling like garbage. I mean, that's.....that's pretty shitty. And you know, I can't say Shirin was exactly a favorite of mine but given how awful the situation was, I don't think it was the best time to talk about 'genuine crying.' At the reunion, Dan decided to make the situation go from bad to worse by being snide, arrogant, angry, and saying it was all poor editing that made him say all those things (which Probst awesome-ly disproved on one of those incidents).

And for a man who loves to boast about his awesome superfan knowledge, he sure as shit doesn't know a lot about the basic understanding of the game. 'Flippers. Never. Win.' Totally true unless you're Vecepia (a winner he doesn't even know of), Danni, or Bob. 'It's just basic math.' Meaning what? Your number alliance has a larger number of people then the other so therefore you win a million? Basic math doesn't guarantee jack.

What's truly remarkable about Dan was according to his final words, he was playing a game to seem like a likable, respected character but ended up having the complete opposite effect. That takes a special kind of dumbass to pull that off.